Why?????

I write what I feel. I write when inspired. I write when I force myself to try. My work is an extension of my personality, yet I wonder at my maturity (or lack of). I just went through some other blogs (of definitely more matured souls), then came back and skimmed (thoroughly) my input so far this month. Grownsome is about me growing some, so please let me know, come 2yrs down the line, if I still sound the same.*smiles*

But really, my outlook on life tends towards the humourous. I would age thrice quicker if I lost my sense of humour. Its such a shame really that a good number of people don't see 'it all' that way. When I started today, I wondered at my juvilinity. However it is, its who I am, and I embrace me.

>:D<

In other news, Two Score and One has decided to shed some light on the state of his feelings (further clarification???). Am I just stringing the guy on? I'm actually feeling some twinge of guilt here. But then, I did inform the bros that he has no grounds for liking me beyond any platonic form (I mean, 2 weeks!).

I shall not meander into gnawing concerning this bone.

Puss-In-3and-a-half-inch-Stilletos (*meeeoowww*)

She closed her eyes and reaching deep into her being, summoned forth her inner Couger.....

Or something somewhat related to that. Subsequent to my last blog, I have since captured the affections of one young man who, in the span of a week and a half, has declared passionate like for me, THEN deduced a perceived age differencé - leading to a retraction of the said declaration. This, as of now, has been followed up by an explanation of the sent sms which terminated our affairé de amour.

On my part, I must say I was amused initally to be chatted up by someone who loved my pink ensemble. Fearless lad that he is, he openly declared that pink was his favourite colour, and proceeded to augment his point by wearing a pink polo shirt the next day (how come guy sizes come in pale pink and not the likes of fushia, by the way??? That would have been really proving his point). Several days, and many sms' later, I had come to (and modified) several conclusions on the scenario as follows:

i) Guy is so ponsy!
ii) Guy is some kind of metrosexual aspirant.
iii) He is rather young (this after listening to him on second meeting, and all the sms' that followed).



*TRANSMISSION BREAK*
EWWW!!!! GAY GUYS ON EASTENDERS!!!!

*End Interruption Transmission*



Primarily, having a "young man", in this case Two Score and One, is a totally novel experience to me, seeing how much of a spring chicken I am, but really, there ARE mature young peoples out there aren't there? (e.g. yours truly). In all honesty, my age mates and even senior males give me grief, so this can only amount to naught. Really, suicide and/or murder is not high on my list.

The Weight of the Matter at Hand. Or Belly.

BELLY FAT IS UGLY. That's the name of some site which looks down its nose on all the huffing and puffing on the treadmill, and incessant sit-ups which apparently do not help you lose your bellyfat. I totally agree. Situps simply tone your abs and do not, as a matter of fact, get rid of all that bellyfat (which by the way IS ugly). I should know. I've been fighting for and dreaming of a waistline for as long as i can remember (which would be about my first year in Uni). Which is one major contributor to my lose-weight dream (an off-shoot of the Lose-the-ugly-bellyfat program). I will get there. I know i can, if i can just persevere.

FT Lily shared a blog page with me off yahoo (google: Anna Fitzgerald+elastic waistline). Too bad I can't dig into all those K-slim and such challenges, thanks to my little lactose-intolerance. Still, that would get boring in time. Just as exercies routines get dull and non-challenging in time (speaking of which people, i'm in the market for new ab-routines. Feel free to share). But I digress. Anna Fitzgerald's elastic waistline, and what she terms the "last meal syndrome" which I so totally get now and then. Working out can be so non-encouraging (yes, that is beyond discouraging). I mean, I put in effort, walk, run, cycle (which is still not keeping the cellulite at bay), kick in some strength training, and for what? I'm still fighting the weight, talk less of losing it. But i can only keep at it or just let go and blow. Meanwhile, Xandra who doesn't feel exercising (and truly, does anyone???) but goes on walks is noticably shedding. It would be so unfair if I wasn't glad for her. It really kills my joy when I go out and people are like "are you adding weight?". All I want to do is stay indoors - which I actually do, under the guise of being anti-social, because finding what to wear in which I feel happy can be a truly distressing ordeal for me (not to mention I could do with a wardrobe upgrade). Kat is of the opinion that i'm bulking up because of my stabs at strength training (bless her soul. Oh that it would be true). Cutting back on portions? Been there. Cutting back on eating?? Done that. Admittedly, I'm inconsistent on the exercise, especially when I get particularly discouraged and lose most motivation. Whatever is a girl to do? I need all the help i can get.

I'm currently 62Kg and counting. Wonder-weight point for me would be 57Kg. I can do this. I can get there.