Seeking New Pathways

What exactly is the definition of giving up? And just how fine or broad is the line between the aforementioned and opting for a different direction/approach/view on things?

After receiving my penultimate school rejection (5th of 6), I informed the Mother that I wouldn't be applying to anymore schools, as I felt it was time for me to look into improving my educational lot in other fields (IT? I think not. Hooking up with Xandra's Sewing Set-up-shop dream? Plausible, feasible. Anthing else? Ummm...). She is of the opinion that I'm giving up. I insist I'm simply looking for alternate route to the same end. See, my Life Plan dictates that I be financially independent of my husband. (Version 1.0 dictated that I be married/at least engaged at this point of my life. This has, of course been subsequently updated and modified severally). I had dreamt of actually making good use of my degree, but if that isn't working out, I figure there is more than one road to Oz.

***Of course I'm still applying to more schools against next year again (Year3. Lord, please help me to get a start-off, or find my way). But at least I was able to draw the line at 4 US schools, and 1 Australian***

I have also decided to apply my newly procured bit of wisdom to other areas of my life, where applicable. After much resistance, imploration, persuation, abusation and other such, I have finally relented and consented to give Bob a try. Calm down, calm down. I'm still me, so its going as a 6-week try-out. To this end, I made a trip to Las Gidi to spend the weekend. I find I still don't know how to relate with him outside third parties - which is just weird, because we talk just fine everyday on the phone. (Or he calls everyday). I wasn't planning on alerting him to my current stand, yet like more-or-less every male I know, he's been trying his luck, and seems to have well-adapted to my newly available forthcomingness. I must say, the whole intensity of his liking is rather whelming. Yet, I made a decision, so I fought against my impulses to draw my hand away when he tried to hold it (which was like on the hour, every hour), move my feet away, let him know his staring at me is discomfiting (ok, I did mention that one to him), etc etc. Day 1 was not so hot, and Miss Chaperone was strongly on my case (Was I supposed to be along with him all weekend??? Ha!). So I prayed, and played nice on Day 2. He was much happy, so was Chaperone-ji, and I kept praying for perseverance and steadfastness. Yesterday eve, just when I noticed he hadn't called me, and was making some effort to not crowd me in (Kudos to him), he called. (Rescinding prior appraisal). But I realise that if I actually was into him from the get-go, all these would not be issues at all. Rather, I'd be basking in all the adoration, so I'm taking a deep breath, and making for an open mind.

Wish me luck.

*UPDATE*

Yet another school rejection. Oh well! Life goes on.

Was sent a link to an ad inviting applications for trainee helicopter pilots. As it is, flying has been a long-going underG career thought of mine which has been recently resurrected - still on the low though - flight schools cost anything between 6M - 17M, depending on location and specification. So you can imagine my joy and excitement! It was like "Lord, is this a sign???" I'm almost afraid to believe it is, but worried that it won't work out if its not. Sent in my application two days back - against minimal odds. It turns out the postal service is on strike (I really need to start watching more local news, and less international), and the family is not too keen on that career path. Caty was all about the death statistics (which apply more to fixed wings as opposed to helicopters, but she wouldn't listen to me at that point anyhoos), and my mother's actually actively praying along the lines of my not getting the job. I really could use some support on my side. So I hurried in my application before I changed my mind to please mummy.

Hung out with a couple of Bob's friends yesterday. It would seem he has told them only so much about me. Much too much infact. Wifehalf of the happy couple kept going on about how excited she is that I'm going to be part of their "couple clique", and wanting to know if the date was going to be this year or early next year. Among other things. All I could think was "what on EARTH has he been telling them about me????". I mean we aren't even dating for pete's sake. If I wasn't so tickled (inside) at the time, I would have said something, cos I was strongly fighting the urge to blurt.

*sigh*

Whatever am I getting myself into?

Finally got a grip on my binging (with divine intervention, of course). It was like I was on some crazy see-food diet. And now, I find i'm not hungry, but I wouldn't mind a little something-something. Now I know what Sandra Bullock felt like in Miss Congeniality. Speaking of her, watched "The Proposal" yesterday (with Said Couple) for the second time. Firstly, that is the most serious I've seen Ryan Reynolds. Secondly, he has one HOOOTTTT bod underneath it all. Though for the life of me, I can't figure out how Mz. Bullock managed to get through the no-clothes scene. Ewww!!!!

2 weeks and counting to The Wedding. I've got 3 outfit changes in one day! And I'm not the bride!! Slipper hunting is not working in my favour. Dang.

Memo to Self: Must get the father to commit physically to my Look-Fab-On-D-day Trustfund.

Not-quite-hunger may not be the ish, but it certainly keeps you alert.

Up! Up!! Up!!!

Finally started my Confirmation classes. To God be the glory. Now my mother is resting in the knowledge that I will be married in the Catholic Church after all. *rolling my eyes to the heavens!!!*

The whole mixed with kids thing is not kusher, admittedly, but I had to zero my mind to that one considering this has been pending since I was 14 (at which point I even thought I was rather old to be in the classes. Oh that I could then see myself now). And Brother Paul is ever so excited about/determined to privately coach me into catching up with the class (hence my very tight schedule today - I must make that aerobics class oh!). I must say, I am glad that I'm having the class now at this point, because one of the catechist (while I admire his zeal and all) is so shoving all the teachings and catechism into the kids heads. They'll know the whys' without understanding or believing (which is reminiscent of the current educational system.... hmmm). I did have questions to ask, but for the sake of his BP and peace with the children, I held my peace for private discussion - possibly with another catechist, or a preist. DEFINITELY not him.

Half way through the last class though, the "elders" were moved aside for a seperate class and I found I rather enjoyed. There are the dogmas and teachings, but she (Sister Ann) did give room for expression of personal opinions and thoughts. I was much motivated, and find I'm looking forward to the next class. I hope she makes it.

My happi-mones are in hyperdrive this week so far, and I'm riding on a joy-high. It is the Lord's doing, and it is most definitely marvelous in my sight.

My heart praises the Lord;
my soul is glad because of God my Saviour,
for he has remembered me, his lowly servant!
From now on, all people will call me happy....

Magnificat.
Luke 1:46-48