You get to a point when you find you are simply weary of a lot of things. Worn out by plans not quite working out (though you know its not because you're missing something). Weary of (seemingly) being on one spot. Tired of not getting things right. Wondering when it's all going to come together. Wondering which way to go, and how to go about "it", whatever "It" is.
I feel like I've been pursuing this one thing for so long, and that's even more in line with my trying to be prudent. My heart is simply not in it, I'm tired because it all seems so never-ending and tedious.
In the midst of it all, I know the Lord is my strength, and he will get me through this on top, just as he did today, he did yesterday, and will always do tomorrow.
I have not been as focused on my job as I should, and its beginning to tell. I've had slip-ups here and there, forgetfulness issues that have left me feeling so bad for my boss, and wondering how I'm not back on the totally-unemployed line. I almost wish I could just leave here and get another job where I could have a clean start, no mess ups or whooping bloopers hanging over my head. Right now, Big Boss is going to be checking up triple time on my work, and looking out for busts. Its simply my doing, but it still hurts. Why on earth cant we just learn from other people's mistakes??? we cant make them all on our own!
2 comments:
Hi this is a heartfelt stuff, but whatever, we got the power to make the changes we desire. Mostly, we got our problems half solved when we know where it all started. Take care dear lol
http://renaissanceafrica-ostar.blogspot.com/
take a moment and step aside, look from the outside in at the inside, stop giving too much of your focus and energy on what seems to be going wrong or not going at all focus on what you really what and affirm the positve outcomes. if its affecting your job like you said and you obviously do not like that, there are things you can do
-ask for help, someone can help you do the extra things you cant handle when you are at work, not all but some.
-you could talk to your boss and ask for a day off, say once every two weeks or once a week till you get your stuff under control and ask someone to fill in for you.
- make a list of the basic things you must do at work, and a list of urgent/important not usually in your schedule (write that in pink (red may get you agitated!!)
keep the lists at eye level so you see them and are quickly reminded.
you say your heart is not in what your pursuing re-evaluate its relevance to you.
things will work out fine. :-)
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