....

I've learnt that it is SO SO much easier to judge people in certain circumstances, until we find ourselves in them. Being caught up on the "other side" has taught me to be more considerate of people's strengths, or their lack thereof.

But all the same, why does it come so easy to point the finger? Read up a blog earlier which had some comments on Ini Edo, and some people commenting on her "runs"essness. Firstly, I didn't even know that, but then that's history. So YES, "such" girls get married first. YES they get good husbands, and YES the allegedly good ones tend to be left behind being bitter about why they're still single yet. Quite frankly, if you're going to harp on about the situation and not invest your energies in a more profitable fashion, then go figure.

In summary, judge not that ye may not be found wanting by your own standards. I know my sins, and quite frankly, we should all be more conscious of our own short-comings, and work on them instead, that we may not all end up in Hell.

Be My True Love (for the day???)

When you really get down to thinking about it, the concept of expressing the depth of your amour and the violence of your affections specifically once a year is rather silly. Any day is as good as the next. So why wait?

Ok, I am well aware that my commentary is rather trite, especially along the lines of "Valentine's is sooooo overrated". I go more with "Valentine's is soooo overdone". You should see the decor in my office. It's all rather pretty though, I must say.

So again, I got another bouquet. Red roses this time. Very pretty too, and they smell nice. Which is a step-up from last year's bouquet. Mixed flowers (no idea of the names) and the smell reminded me of toilet freshner. While that may seem harsh on the sender, keep in mind that air freshners aim to mimic the smells their different flavours are supposed to be on about, so that's a complement really. Depending on your perspectives.

Anyhoos, I'm mid-contemplation of selling it to Dr. Fey, but we still haggling on the price. Really, sender won't know that I didn't keep it, and if I do, it'll just wilt after all is said and done. Not exactly like I'm motivated to keep the darn thing anyways. I believe the accompanying card read something to the effect of: "Despite your flaws, here are 7 roses for the girl whom I consider perfect (for him, of course. What about me?!?). What a to-do, what a to-do. I could do with the extra cash though....

Speaking of which, people seem to tip more on such days. Or perhaps I'm not so un-easy on the eyes afterall. Whatever the case may be, I reckon I've accrued enough to last me through next week.

Halleluyah!

?

Do I have an innate desire to continually hurt myself? Hold myself back?? Not progress??? Irrespective of appearances, I only fool myself if I crawl forward, and then run back at the slightest invitation.

To be free, and truly free indeed. What more could anyone ask for? To love and be loved in return. To love those who love you. More importantly, to love those who do not return the favour.

The LORD is my refuge and my strength.

Together Again

There we were, all seated around the table. Laughing our heads off. It felt really nice to have (most of) the crew back together again. Can't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

It's almost amazing how influencial friends can be in your life. I found myself contemplating things and people which I never would have on a good day. When I got back home, it was like a veil had been lifted off my mind. Jumping men? Really?!? As if.

Another year has come and gone, and Valentine is down the road once more. Fortunately for moi, I will be off that weekend, so I'm thinking I'll catch up on all those movies which I've been piling up since last year. Its amusing how its mostly assumed that I'm so fully booked, I'm practically collapsing under the weight of all my appointments for the day. Don't i just wish. However, what I DO wish is for not to get any flowers. SERIOUSLY!!!! I am so backed up for cash right now, I promise anything that's not edible (and I can only eat so much) WILL be a waste. So please, give me money (or ask me first). So far, this saturday looks to be just me, my music and books. And movies, of course. And Lee's beading expedition. And the block-work masses. Can't forget them. {Joy}.

There's this Fred Hammond song "Give me a clean Heart", which I am sooooo loving right now. I can really relate to the lyrics, and it just ... speaks out to me. And I'm sure, if i keep listening to it non-stop for another evening, Dr. Fey is going to have an aneurism. *smiling*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqI_K2RC7pU

M'Lady doth do Obsess

New year {good. Thank you Lord}. New resolutions {also good}. New challenges and plans {working on those organization skills. progress}. New fixations and methods of doing one's self in? {not so hot}.

I am single and scanning. That translates to me not seeking hard or searching, but being open. I find that I'm becoming a frequent recepient of companionship-twinges. Ever so now and then, I do wonder how soon it'll be that I meet a someone. Why does he tarry so? Is he meandering? am I meandering? how does one go about getting the road map, so expedite the meeting? Is he a good kisser? I'd much like to kiss him. And snuggling up to sleep next to someone is a nice feeling.

Maybe its the upcoming wedding season galloping towards me. Or all the people that just seem to be getting married all of a sudden. Whatever the case may be, I think i'm getting the point/pinch of the whole companionship thing.

*sigh*

Resolutions

Tomorrow's the last day of November. Another year gone by already. For once in my life, I can actually look back and say with confidence that I'm not standing where I was at the beginning of the year.

I find that new year resolutions don't work for me. Granted, a new beginning is a good time to make changes. But then, any given day's as good as the next. Besides, Man proposes, God disposes. You may not be here tomorrow, so you might as well make the best of now. And don't worry! If that won't change a thing, then why give yourself wrinkles and greys? Do what you actually can. PRAY. Then let go and let flow! (and keep the faith, of course. Keep pushing till you receive your answer).

Where was I? Resolutions. Right. I find new year resolutions work like new diets, new exercise regimes, trying out new hobbies, self-improvement trials, and all that. Motivation may hang around for the first week, month, or even day. Then that wanes, and it all goes down the hill.......{hmmmmm......}.
So forget that approach. What do you want to change? Improve?? Become??? Start on it today. Right now. Make a plan and follow through. Sure, you may digress, get derailed, or hit a wall. But nothing clicks just like that. No matter how far off you get, destination point is still on the horizon. Dust yourself up and keep pushing even, especially when you fell like just giving up. Eventually, you will find your self more "on' than "off" the program.
So I'm with the daily resolution wagon. Daily reminders really help. Plus each time I slag off, I'm reminded of where I should be, and I try to get back. So far, I'm on the following:

i) Be patient
ii) Be kind
ii) Never be rude, especially to my brother.
iv) Not to be deceitful, even in the slightest forms.
v) Smile
vi) Not to procrastinate
vii) Become time-concscious
viii)Consider others over myself

Weary

You get to a point when you find you are simply weary of a lot of things. Worn out by plans not quite working out (though you know its not because you're missing something). Weary of (seemingly) being on one spot. Tired of not getting things right. Wondering when it's all going to come together. Wondering which way to go, and how to go about "it", whatever "It" is.

I feel like I've been pursuing this one thing for so long, and that's even more in line with my trying to be prudent. My heart is simply not in it, I'm tired because it all seems so never-ending and tedious.

In the midst of it all, I know the Lord is my strength, and he will get me through this on top, just as he did today, he did yesterday, and will always do tomorrow.

I have not been as focused on my job as I should, and its beginning to tell. I've had slip-ups here and there, forgetfulness issues that have left me feeling so bad for my boss, and wondering how I'm not back on the totally-unemployed line. I almost wish I could just leave here and get another job where I could have a clean start, no mess ups or whooping bloopers hanging over my head. Right now, Big Boss is going to be checking up triple time on my work, and looking out for busts. Its simply my doing, but it still hurts. Why on earth cant we just learn from other people's mistakes??? we cant make them all on our own!